SubSpace

A few weeks ago I hit subspace really hard.
It was like having your first orgasm... you don't really know what to expect and then, wham!
And afterward all you can think is that line from Thelma and Louise, "Now I know what all the fuss is about!"

So what was it? What did He do to take me there?

Honestly, I have no idea. None at all. We weren't even really playing, just talking and fooling around before we had to leave for dinner. I hadn't really slept at all the night before and I had a few emotional issues bubbling around, but there's nothing unusual about that.

Was it some quality of pain? Some special trick?
There were a few new things - surprises that marked me for days and left me breathless.
But that wasn't entirely it.

There was something in His voice that switched off most of my brain. I couldn't hear anything but His voice, couldn't feel anything but His body. The room around me seemed to be moving in light speed. I didn't even process His commands before my body was doing what He wanted.

When He stopped it took me a long time to come back to my senses. I cried a little and felt dizzy and sort of sick. Like when you have a fantastic evening with friends and your chest hurts from laughing too much but you had just a little too much wine.

He told me to get dressed so we wouldn't miss our reservation and I had no idea how to do that... or where my clothes were (even though we were in my house and my clothes are everywhere). He kept asking me if I was OK and I kept saying, "Yes," but I wasn't.
I also wasn't not OK and I had no idea how to get back to reality. I had no idea why I'd want to.

I was so very thirsty though, so I managed to get into appropriate clothing and we left.

It took more than an hour for me to come down.

It was scary - for both of us - and I wish there had been more time for aftercare, more time to come down gently with Him.
But then I always wish for more time with Him and there is never enough.
It makes me feel insecure, the imbalance of need in this relationship... but that's a post for another night.