I just did something for T that I have never done for another man.
Its shocking.
Prepare yourself.


His laundry.

I KNOW, right?

Big party tonight... I have some pretty bruises to share, too!

Birthday Spanking

Happy Birthday indeed...

I spent Friday evening with T and we explored a lot of different options...

Different styles of whips and floggers and canes and other miscellaneous instruments.

Turns out, I like bondage. A lot.
And I like caning and electrical play.

A lot.

Turns out he is a big fan of caning as well, and he practices a method I'm not all that fond of, called "SDS," or "Same Damn Spot." I find a little recovery time between smacks means I can go longer.

But then, he is in charge. Especially when I am tied to a cross.

He is still learning me, and he is still afraid of scaring me off... so at first he let me off the hook without the safeword. When he realized I was using that he started pushing a little harder.

Especially once I was on the spanking bench. Holy cats.

We made another date for Tuesday...

Private play tomorrow for my birthday...
I have no idea what he has planned, but if it's anything at all like the other night I'm in for a lot of fun.

Happy Birthday to ME!!

Two Things from Saturday

One was funny, "ha ha," and one was funny in the ironic twisty way that I love.

Funny thing #1
At the munch before the party I mentioned that I had already seen the new dungeon because I spent the afternoon at T's house. One of the Doms said, "Oh, then you're already tired!"
I protested, "Nope! He had me there for four hours and didn't even touch me."
The Dom was amazed... asked if T was stupid or just crazy.
T said, "I just wanted it to be new for her tonight."
So I, of course, said, "Yup, I've still got that new car smell and everything."
Lots of laughing...

So I'm checking people in at T's house later and this same Dom said he had a present for me... and he handed me one of those car freshener things that you hang from the mirror.
And it was vanilla scented.
I love these guys.

Funny thing #2

You know that song Careless Whisper? (Yes you do, too. And if you don't, look up the lyrics because that's part of this story). It was on my "breakup misery wallow-time" mixed tape from the LAST time S left. Well, apparently Seether did a remake. It's actually pretty good. Know when I heard it? Face down on a table in a dungeon almost at the very second that someone who wasn't S topped me for the first time.

I think it was sort of interesting timing.

Party Girl

What a fabulous party!!

T was amazing... and everyone else was so welcoming. I learned a lot and got to watch things that I had only read about.

I even have some pretty serious bruises. Huge, deep bruises. I was initially really unsure about public play - I didn't think I would be comfortable, and I was worried about the implications of not only my first play with T, but my first play without S.

But I watched a few scenes; a fabulous flogging, some knife play, a little spanking. And T was fire cupping. It was so amazing. So. Amazing. The first cupping scene I watched was really intense for me, I helped in the second and was on the table for the third. T had to work a little harder than he thought he would, my pain tolerance apparently is impressive.

After T and one of the Dommes (my new BFF) wrapped me in a blanket and held me and stroked my hair. It took me awhile to come back to my senses. I had never had sufficient aftercare before and it really makes all the difference in the world.

One of the boys (submissive, mid-twenties) said, "That was so beautiful." He was also sporting some pretty impressive bruises from a flogging scene and kept asking me if he could bite me a little. So later I let him. But only a little. I have some nice marks from him.

At the end of the evening there was a ball torture demonstration... which sounds really horrible, and frankly? Looks really horrible.

Until I saw his face.

There really isn't much in me that wants to cause pain for others. I am much more interested in receiving. But making people happy is something I love... and it made him so happy that I wanted a turn, and after everyone else went home I got another turn.
It was such an intimate and amazing thing to bring him to his knees - literally - over and over until he was glassy-eyed and so funny.

I am in no danger of falling in love with this man... but I will be playing with him again soon.

Miss Me Yet?

His last email sounded so sad... Which is curious to me. He has freed himself to fuck random strangers with impunity!
What more does he want?
Right now I don't trust his friendship, but would probably fuck him.
Oh well. I suppose there are some things that will take longer than others.
There is a party this weekend... T has spent the week setting up some new things in the dungeon. He asked if I was ready for a public scene... But I don't think I am just yet.
Besides, next time there will be wax play! Yummy!!
In a weird way I still wish he was part of this. It would be sort of nice if he were there. I wonder when that will pass?
Its entirely possible that he would show up at a party... There aren't that many groups here.
Is it Saturday yet?!?

Interest

T says it's a numbers game, really.
There are more men than women in this lifestyle, so the "new girl" gets a lot of attention.
He has offered protection and introduction - it's all very sweet and "courtly" really.

I have seen pictures of his "work," and it's impressive.

I know that I'm not ready to start a relationship again, but I do miss the sting of leather on my skin, the soft but firm command, the guiding hand on the small of my back.

So we'll see...

There are so many things I want to try, and without the restraint of an inexperienced and indecisive Dom I have the freedom.

I hate it, but I still wish He had stuck around to take these steps with me.
Surely this will pass.