To Sir, With Love

That's so cute that He says His "alternate" is available for vanilla meetings.
His "alternate" is about as vanilla as Chunky Monkey.

(I know vanilla. I was married to vanilla. You, Sir, are no vanilla).

But I absolutely respect Sir's need for sabbatical... I don't know what's going on with Him. I have some vague ideas, but He tends to keep His own counsel and I respect that too.
And this pleasure-pain aspect requires a certain mindset. Trying to force that mindset would be false and dangerous.

Here's what I know:

This weird un-relationship has strange and ever-changing boundaries... it is so hard to define or categorize. It's hard to trust something that doesn't have firm edges, but there is nothing at all slippery or unstable about the basic friendship that is the foundation of everything there is between us.

When I have needed Him He has come without hesitation, so now I will wait for Him to need me.

And when He does I will do my best to be what He needs. Part of loving Him this way is patience... and adaptability. He knows that I will be here when He gets back, without demand or question.
I will listen if He needs to talk and I will talk if He needs to laugh.
I will turn out the lights and wrap myself around Him if He needs to sleep.